GOP Announces Racism is Over, Other Than All The Times The GOP Has Been Racist

According to the GOP, racism ended with Rosa Parks. It seems like just yesterday when GOP NC chairman Don Yelton gave a hilariously bigoted interview with The Daily Show, and Rick Santorum almost dropped an N-bomb when describing Barack Obama....
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According to the GOP, racism ended with Rosa Parks. It seems like just yesterday when GOP NC chairman Don Yelton gave a hilariously bigoted interview with The Daily Show, and Rick Santorum almost dropped an N-bomb when describing Barack Obama....
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Pop the champagne! Release the balloons! Hug your children and kiss your significant others!

Racism is over!

Yep, it’s done. Goodbye bigotry. Smell ya later stereotyping.

On Sunday, the Republican National Committee made it official by tweeting this:

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“Today we remember Rosa Parks’ bold stand and her role in ending racism.”

So yeah, it’s ended. It's done. Congratulations minorities; we’re all equals now, and together, we’re going to change the world. We’re going to be just like those diverse happy kids on Captain Planet. It’s going to be awesome!

And who would have thought we would finally see this day? And to have the GOP announce it? I mean, wow.

It’s just after so many examples of their own party spewing racist ignorant shit, I didn’t see this coming. It seems like just yesterday I was watching North Carolina GOP Precinct Chair Don Yelton’s hilariously bigoted interview with The Daily Show. And wasn’t it not too long ago that Rick Santorum almost dropped an N-bomb when describing Barack Obama?

And then there was that time that Tea Partiers tried to get that whole slavery thing taken out of history books in Tennessee. Or when a survey found that 46% of Mississippi Republicans want interracial marriage banned. And remember when Gerald Rivera claimed Trayvon Martin was killed because of his hoodie?

God, I’m just so excited to never hear stuff like that anymore.

Never again will our now-equal society have to tolerate stuff like Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City, saying minorities earn less than white people because they don’t work as hard and have less initiative. Or Glenn Beck saying that African-American isn’t a race. Or Mitty Romney making a joke about those darn Latinos.

Honestly, it's all a little overwhelming. I’m still trying to figure out what to wear to the inevitable RACISM IS OVER! parties that are going to be thrown this weekend. I’ve been trying to picture which shirt will look better as my never-to-be-judged-again black friends and I laugh about the time Ann Coulter compared Obama to Flava Flav. Or the time Oklahoma House of Representatives Majority Leader announced his fear of getting “Jewed down.”

And social media is going to be completely different. No longer will we have to worry about things like Chicago Country Republican Party posting this cheeky meme about slavery on their Facebook. No longer will we see hundreds of thousands of racist tweets pop up during election time.

It’s all going to change.

Now I only hope that that racist Obama has heard the news.