I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know shit about high fashion.
My go-to outfit is comprised of a black zip-up from an esoteric indie band, a white t-shirt, and light jeans that I am convinced I will one day force into being back in style (unless my girlfriend finally throws them out first).
So imagine my disappointment when I found out that I had already missed out on one of the top fashion trends of the fall:
North Korea Chic.
Elle magazine coined this term in their most recent "A-Zee” column, a list of current fashion trends compiled by Creative Director Joe Zee, and I’m furious no one told me sooner.
How was I supposed to know that the military look that Master P once popularized was back and “edgier, even dangerous, with sharp buckles and clasps, and take-no-prisoners tailoring?"
But it’s a good thing Elle finally pointed it out to me. Being the fashion dunce that I am, I would have thought taking prisoners was TOTALLY a North Korea Chic kind of thing to do. My face would have been as red as someone who had boiling water poured on it during an illegal interrogation!
Yeah yeah, I know North Korea may have been condemned by Amnesty International, the United Nations, and The Human Rights Watch, but it looks like they’re in great standing with the fashion police, and isn't that all that really matters? If I were you, I’d get on board with this new style soon or you’re going to end up looking like a drab loser who doesn’t appreciate the Glorious Emperor’s new clothes.
So to the people of North Korea, I say, "March on you fabulous self-reliant statesmen (and women), march on. The runway is calling your name."