Marines To Wear Damn Obama-Approved Queer Hats Because He Hates Our Troops and America

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Prepare yourself for Hat-gate.

The New York Post (motto: “The Best Bird Cage Liner in the Tri-State Area”) published a story yesterday with the comically alarmist headline “Obama wants Marines to wear ‘girly’ hats.” Basically, the Post is peeved over a proposal to change the traditional Marine cover to a more streamlined unisex design. Why? Because, of course, in the apparently syphilis-addled minds of the writers for the Post, the new hats look gay.

Sure, the article doesn’t come out and say they look gay — again, it calls them “girly” — but the very first line of the story says the new hats look like they’d be at home on Christopher Street. For those of you who aren’t familiar with New York City, Christopher Street is where the Stonewall Inn is located, if you get the Post‘s limp-wristed drift.

It then goes on to quote a nameless indignant Marine that it pulled directly out of its ass:

“We don’t even have enough funding to buy bullets, and the DoD is pushing to spend $8 million on covers that look like women’s hats!” one senior Marine source fumed to The Post. “The Marines deserve better. It makes them look ridiculous.”

Further feminizing the new proposed covers is the fact that, according to another anonymous angry person, it makes our Marines look the “soldiers” of a certain cheese-eating country full of spineless surrender-monkeys who don’t speak English.

“The Dan Daly cap looks too French, and the last people we want to associate our Marines with would be the French military,” wrote one commenter on the Marine Times Web site.

Dan Daly, whom the new proposed hats are named for, by the way, was a World War I hero who twice earned the Medal of Honor. The hats were standard issue Marine wear during the early 1900s. The idea that somehow the shape of a dress cover is going to make a United States Marine feel somehow insecure and emasculated is a little silly, but of course you know that.

Although who knows — maybe Colonel Jessup really is gonna be pissed he can’t make fun of the Navy uniforms anymore.

Completely Predictable Update: Needless to say, the entire Post story is bullshit.

  • madjak

    The hats suck,

  • muslimmustgo

    I think these caps look better for the female,but the male marine will never accept this cap and rightly so,they know obama hates them for their victories over obamas muslim brotherhood!1

  • Jonwards

    [Spied this on the net!]

    OBAMA’S PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

    I pledge allegiance to the f*g of the Benighted States of
    America
    and to the repugnance for its one-night stands, one obamination (under
    the god of lust), invisible (before it comes out of the closet), with
    libertines and Judgment Day for all.

  • Richard G

    “A spokesperson for the Marine Corps: ‘We’re looking for a new cover for our female Marines for the primary reason that the former manufacturer went out of business. The Marine Corps has zero intention of changing the male cover.’ ”

    And further, the president has zero input into the decisions.

    • madjak

      Doesn’t he wear a pink beret , or was it a pink biycyle helmet

  • Mike_Norris

    I have to admit, at first glance, the new hats are a little eh hem, effeminate.

    • Gene Lyons

      Indeed. Bullshit or no, those are some really unfortunate hats.

      • dbtheonly

        But compare them with the uniforms from about 1910.

  • Craven Moorehead

    more wasteful spending by this disastrous obama administration….its absurd.

    • mrbrink

      Republican presidents squandered trillions on tax cuts and wars without paying for any of it. This president’s so-called debt is Bush’s debt compounded year-to-year to date, minus the shrinking deficit that this president has presided over. Republicans always benefit from a rigged economy– an affirmative action economy for the GOP, bootstraps for everyone else. Hire a million public workers when you need them to prop up dismal policies and worthless job creation, then fire them to sabotage others, not caring that they’re using Americans as garbage and human shields for political power as they do in war and economics. I’m sure the manufacturing jobs that this will create, what with new designs, orders, stock, shipping, sorting, recycling, etc., will sustain more jobs in the private sector over the long haul than a hundred Keystone pipelines making crazy straw shapes and their Freudian rorschach spills through the heart of poor country.

      • Craven Moorehead

        nice diatribe…..still balming bush?….god help america.

        • mrbrink

          That’s clever. Bravo! You just made Jesus retarded.

          • Craven Moorehead

            …dont breed.

        • Pink No More

          Not an original thought in your head. Granted, it’s because there’s no thought in your head, buty still.

          • dbtheonly

            Not fair. He regurgitates the talking points & buzz words he hears on RWMO.

            As an example of indoctrination; it’s quite interesting.

    • Chez Pazienza

      Now, see, normally I’d just write you off for the idiot you are, but here’s what’s going to happen: I can tell by your huffy outrage you’re gonna immediately go put this shit up on Facebook, or Twitter, or talk to your equally uninformed friends and you’re all gonna gnash your teeth over that damn Obama and his “wasteful spending” on something as frivolous as changing the hats of our beloved Marines. Only here’s the thing: NONE of it is true. If you’d bothered to read the link at the bottom of the post you’d see that the ENTIRE story is bullshit. There very likely won’t be any change in the Marine covers and even if there is, the President of the United States has exactly zero to do with it. But you don’t care about that because it doesn’t confirm your half-assed, ill-informed biases, so you’ll circulate this nonsense so that it can become yet another thing angry middle-aged white people living in trailer parks and exurbs can bitch about as proof Obama’s destroying this great country. You seriously need to have your ability to communicate taken away because you’re using it to HURT AMERICA, ASSHOLE.

  • blair houghton

    So the fact that Marines are generally as proficient with a steam iron as they are with a rifle…ah, fuhgedaboutit…

  • DHaradaStone

    The French must get awfully tired of all the “surrender” talk. Unlike the isolationist (and arguably cowardly) Americans, the French declared war on Nazi Germany soon after it invaded Poland. Yeah, they surrendered, after suffering 360,000 dead or wounded in a little more than a month, and 1.9 million captured. The French also inflicted 157,000 casualties on the Germans. Then there are the 8,000 or so French Resistance fighters killed in action during the war, another 25,000 or so shot by the Germans and thousands more who died in death camps. Any Marine who knows anything about history should be proud to be compared to members of the French military, at least in terms of courage and fighting spirit.

    • feloniousgrammar

      Yeah, the LaFayette, fuck you! meme is way past old.

    • dbtheonly

      What about the 1.2 MILLION lost in WWI bu the VICTORIOUS French? At 50,000 per Viet-Nam Wall, that’s how many?

    • http://thegloomyhistorian.blogspot.com/ The Gloomy Historian

      Why does our historical consciousness only extend back to WWII? A few things happened before then.

      • Pink No More

        Because we didn’t save the world single-handedly before then, duh!

        • http://thegloomyhistorian.blogspot.com/ The Gloomy Historian

          *Sigh* Guess you’re right. *stomps off back to the attic*

    • Freibiergesicht

      I don’t know, sometimes I think the image works out really well for the French government, which is still involved in a lot of foreign adventures that, if our left was paying attention, might get labeled as “neo colonialist aggression” or whatnot. But the “Surrender monkey” thing means French military ventures go largely unnoticed in the U.S.

  • ak1287

    Having served with more than a few Marines, I will say this: their sense of history and tradition, something that they’ve always prided themselves on, is severely lacking, at least in the past 6 years.
    I wouldn’t be surprised if the anonymous ‘senior Marine source’ had no idea who Dan Daly was, much less how uniform changes were actually decided upon.
    Also, this could be my natural cynicism and distrust of journalists, but I have a real hard time believing that source exists.

    • nerdnam

      I’m pretty sure this ‘senior Marine’ is the commandant of nothing but the marching ants up someone’s right wing butt.

  • Sinnach

    “We don’t even have enough funding to buy bullets”

    Wait, wasn’t the Obama administration’s excessive stockpiling of ammunition a source of considerable outrage and proof he intended to round his opponents into FEMA-run gulags not even two months ago?

    These attempts to induce outrage among the GOP are so hilarious precisely because they don’t even attempt to remain internally consistent. Obama is an empty suit, wait no he’s a iron-fisted tyrant. He’s a Muslim extremist, no he’s a radical atheist hell-bent of destroying all religion. Etc

    • feloniousgrammar

      That was two months ago! Today we can’t afford bullets because we shot our entire ammunition wad on hats. Perhaps they would prefer something not French and not gay like this

      • Chez Pazienza

        That’s definitely the hat of a straight man.

      • mrbrink

        Who knew Marines could be such fashion nazis?

        Marine: That new hat is going to make my eyes look less rapey.

        Marine: Totally. Fashion police, hello! Pull over Obama!

        Marine: No frenched up gay hat is going to make me look like a fashion no-no.

        Marine: Who designed these disasters? Yves Saint Laurent’s mom? Am I right?

        Marine: Totally. I want to go back to last season’s look. It was so much more manly and brooding.

        Marine: You man. You’re so bad.

        Marine: You are.

      • http://thegloomyhistorian.blogspot.com/ The Gloomy Historian

        The first thing the marines need to do fashionwise is learn to roll their sleeves up properly.

    • madjak

      Yes your right he is all of these things,

  • Vipsanius

    Those people are being pretty silly.