Good morning Banter peeps, bringing you our hand picked selection of what is happening in our weird and wonderful world this Thursday morning:
1. Barnes and Nobles is F**ked
The CEO of Barnes & Noble,William Lynch, resigned this week after failing to save the declining business. Lynch had only been on the job for just under two years, but with sales falling off a cliff, Lynch jumped ship before the inevitable.
Hamilton Nolan over at Gawker has a competition going for readers to come up with a new plan for the last remaining bookstore in America:
The book business sucks. And trying to win the bookselling battle against Amazon is not a growth strategy, any more than trying to win the tablet battle against Amazon was. The company needs something... anything... to get them back on track, and provide some hope for the future. Otherwise, they will surely fade away. And then the fucking suburbs will have even less culture than they do now.
Got any new ideas? Seriously. We're asking. I got nothing. Put yours in the comments. If you come up with a good one, you can be CEO.
Here's a suggestion: People don't like going to bookshops that remind them of their office. Barnes and Nobles venues are not a lot of fun to hang out in, so maybe they should think about, you know, turning them into places that people do want hang out in. Maybe something like this (but with books obviously):
2. Gun Nut and Giant Dick Adam Kokesh Gets Arrested for Drug Possession and Carry Guns Near the White House
Police have charged Kokesh, 31, with possession of a Schedule I or Schedule II drug while also in possession of a firearm. According to the Washington Post, charging documents filed in court Wednesday morning said that hallucinogenic mushrooms, a Schedule I narcotic, were found in the raid.
The United States Park Police confirmed that a search warrant was executed on the Herndon, Virginia residence leased by Kokesh late Wednesday, in the wake of a YouTube video posted by the activist on July 4 showing him reportedly loading a shotgun in a DC park only two blocks from the White House.
Check out the video of the seriously disturbed Kokesh waving his gun around and ranting about being the the 'final American revolution' or something:
3. Edward Snowden Probably Off to Venezuela
Here's Glenn Greenwald on why it's the best option for Snowden:
4. D.C lawmakers Stand Up to Walmart
Not content with pulling in a reported net income of $17 billion on sales of $470 billion in its most recent fiscal, Walmart has been kicking and screaming about D.C. making the mega corporation pay employers a 50 percent premium over the city's minimum wage. However, the city is not backing down and lawmakers gave final approval to the bill that will require Walmart to do as they are told if they want to open up in the Capital. From the Washington Post:
The retail giant had linked the future of at least three planned stores in the District to the proposal. But its ultimatum did not change any legislators’ minds. The 8 to 5 roll call matched the outcome of an earlier vote on the matter, taken before Wal-Mart’s warning.
“The question here is a living wage; it’s not whether Wal-Mart comes or stays,” said council member Vincent B. Orange (D-At Large), a lead backer of the legislation, who added that the city did not need to kowtow to threats. “We’re at a point where we don’t need retailers. Retailers need us.”
5. My Little Pony Convention 2013: The Best Moments
Er, yes, this apparently actually happened. According to the website 'BronyCon' - "BronyCon is a convention held by and for fans of the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. This show, originally aimed at young girls, attracted an unexpected audience of young adults and teenagers, mostly male, who call themselves bronies.
After four successful events, BronyCon is still here to offer you the most amazing and thrilling experience a brony could wish for!"
Here's a quick video of the best moments in 2013 - if you can handle it: