The Morning Banter: Perry can’t locate a Vagina, JP Morgan CEO replies to a Gold Digger, Buzzfeed sells out again

The internet was ablaze with funny yesterday.  Here’s what you missed:

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Sure, Buzzfeed may have sold their souls a couple of other times in the past (famously here and here) but letting the Heritage Foundation parade this anti-Obamacare nonsense in front of your audience and NOT get paid for it (but promote it on your social media) is just super fucking lame.  At least the comment sections are good for laugh or two.

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The District of Columbia may have just administered its first legal drug deal but on the West Coast, the DEA continues to raid legal dispensaries (even though recreational use of pot is also legal in small amounts), wasting millions of taxpayer dollars.  No matter the laws, this just proves it’s gonna be hard out there for a pot dealer for a long, long time.

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I’m sure no one’s surprised, but there’s actual evidence that Governor Perry is a moron.  On his own volition, Governor Perry outed his complete lack of understanding of the female body.  Lucky for all of us, Texas Senator  Wendy Davis was present to witness the horror.  Best part? Governor Perry admitted defeat in the only way he knows how — by not doing it at all: “Hell, I was close,” said Perry, shrugging to the crowd in the room as he was shuffled out of the room speaking back over his shoulder. (UPDATE: The Lupine piece  on Perry was satirical. Sadly, it’s now impossible to separate fact from fiction with today’s Republican Party…).

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And my favorite story on the interest, JP Morgan CEO lays the smack down on a gold digger.  Definitely worth a read (and as a lady, I want to high five him so hard).

 

 

  • Michael Holtan

    Yeah, journalistic fact-checking on this article very low. Might as well be a Tumblr post.

  • essar1

    Come on, that Governor Perry story is from The Onion, right?

    • Lennon

      Another satire site called The Lapine

      But guys… quality control here fellas. For a site that routinely mocks Glenn Greenwald for his terrible journalistic standards, you’d think a little more fact checking would go into this kinda thing.

      • Benthedailybanter

        In Shauna’s defense, there are Republicans who believe in things like ‘legitimate rape’ and are trying to ban sodomy. It’s hard to separate satire from reality with these guys.

        • Christopher Foxx

          True enough. But even an idiot like Perry has enough political sense to know never to been seen ever coming near to touching female private parts, even on a dummy. Perry et all are all about image (it’s about all they have) and know what makes too embarrassing a photo op.

          I suspect the letter from the JP Morgan CEO is also a joke. Lack of signature, etc. makes it read like one of the “got this email from a friend of a friend but it’s all true!” things one sees debunked on snopes.com

        • Steven Skelton

          There is no excuse for falling for that one.

          • PinkamenaPanic

            How many high-profile righties have claimed Onion articles were the real thing?

          • Steven Skelton

            There is also no excuse for falling for the Onion.

  • Jake

    Re: the Rick Perry story. The Lupine is a Canadian satire site. ;)

    The awesome thing is that you can still read that article and imagine it happening. Perry really does come off like that much of an asshat.

    • Shauna B. Alexander

      Exactly why I bought it! Ah, well. Noted for next time (and The Lupine totally has a new fan)