Dan Bidondi’s Illiterate Lament

FILED TO: Media and Entertainment


My favorite thing of the day comes courtesy of a friend of mine who, through what I’d imagine is a little bit of amusing skulduggery, gained a window into the barely functional brain of InfoWars “reporter” Dan Bidondi. You’ll remember Bidondi as the doughy doofus who subverted the vital question-and-answer portion of a press conference held in the immediate aftermath of the Boston Marathon attack by bombarding the governor of Massachusetts with lunatic nonsense about “false flag” terrorism and the ways in which the government was supposedly planning to hijack our precious civil liberties. You’ll also remember that not long after that circus act was broadcast on national television, a Boston resident recorded himself verbally abusing poor, dumb Bidondi in an act of heroism by a private citizen not seen since, I don’t know, maybe United flight 93.

Well, a couple of days ago, it seems that Bidondi posted a rambling status update to his personal Facebook page, one that could be seen only by his friends, in which he melodramatically casts himself as the lonely warrior standing defiantly on the bridge and single-handedly fighting off the hoards of Clusium like Horatius. The man who suffers so that we can live freely. Not the hero America deserves, but the one it needs. Our silent protector. Our Dark Knight.

Try not to shed a tear as you read — or at least try to decipher — the following. Consider this whole thing one big “sic.”

dan bidondi

WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW! What we do at Infowars is no joke and we are not out just to get ratings..
I am not allowed to see my child no more, I am banned from my former stations, I lost half of my family & friends, all because I stood up against the criminals in our Government at the Boston Bombing Press Conference. I sacrificed allot to bring people the truth and wake them up. Just like our Founding Fathers where called lunatics, conspiracy theorist, terrorist, all because we care for our Country and our future! I too had to make that sacrifice just as they did and most of all just as Yeshua (jesus) did to bring truth to the world.
God bless and I am 100% full in to bringing the New World Order down!
– Dan Bidondi

You should know that the above quote looks like a fucking pinball machine on my computer screen there are so many colors indicating typos and grammatical mistakes all over it.

Given that I have a four-year-old daughter — who’s already better-educated and more literate than Dan Bidondi, by the way — what stuck out to me first about this little cry of defiant martyrdom was of course Bidondi’s claim that he’s not allowed to see his child “no more.” Yes, it’s easy to look at this as not simply a positive but as a downright necessity for society; it’s scary enough that Bidondi figured out how to procreate and then found someone willing to allow him the opportunity to, but at the very least we can seemingly be safe in the knowledge that his paranoid psychosis won’t be passed along to the next generation directly via his paternal influence. That said, I can’t help but feel a little sorry for Bidondi. Only someone truly mentally unbalanced would choose jousting at imaginary windmills over being with his own kid, and for taking advantage of Bidondi’s gullibility, stupidity, and feelings of detachment I blame his mentor, Alex Jones, and Alex Jones alone.

I’ve used this analogy before, and I’ve already referenced The Dark Knight once in this column, but I still can’t get over how perfectly it fits: Early in his rise to the top of the sociopathic conspiracy theory dung heap, Jones stylized himself as Heath Ledger’s Joker, presumably because he considered himself some sort of agent of chaos trying to bring down the established order. But really, if you follow the narrative of the movie, he had and continues to have something else in common with the Joker: He exploits the mentally unhinged and otherwise weak-minded to do his bidding. He’s their master and they’re his always-willing servants. Thing is, Jones has fashioned his paranoid mania into a commercial industry and he’s the one raking in the cash at the top of the pyramid. I can’t imagine a bottom-tier clown like Dan Bidondi is making a hearty living out of all this, not when he’s trying so hard to justify both to others and himself how much he’s selflessly sacrificing in the name of making the ridiculous statement he feels needs to be made.

I’ve also said more than once that the world of the conspiracy theory is where ignorance and arrogance meet, and we see that proven flawlessly in Dan Bidondi’s lament. He genuinely believes he’s in the company of the founding fathers and Jesus by speaking truth to power; he’s a barely literate dimwit who comforts himself with delusions not just of government conspiracies but of his own grandeur and brilliance in being privy to their existence, to the reality that no one else seems to see. It’s the classic behavior of, at best, the loser outcast who ironically wallows in what he believes is his own unappreciated genius, and, at worst, a paranoid schizophrenic.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on mental health issues, but I just can’t imagine Bidondi coming around on his own and finally realizing that what he’s given up everything in his life for is utter bullshit. He’s simply too far gone. But while I do actually feel a little sad for him, because he’s just that dumb, that doesn’t by any means mitigate the damage he’s causing by doing Alex Jones’s bidding and circulating this crap. He’s hurting people — victims of the Boston Marathon bombing, for example — and he’s hurting the truth, which is, in the grand scheme, even more important. He’ll never be talked out of his delusions. He’ll never believe what he sees right in front of his face. No evidence in the world will convince him he’s lost his fucking mind.

He’ll just keep right on fighting for what he thinks is the real story that’s being kept from all of us, regardless of the fact that that real story is only in that pea-sized brain inside his thick, dopey head.


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  • justaman

    I’d rather have Dan as my neighbor than most of the libitards that attack him. I know Dan would stay out of my business, I’m not so sure about the libitards. Dan is attacked for his writing skills yet the guy that is called a journalist writes “the above quote looks like a fucking pinball machine on my computer” the hypocrisy is evident.

  • Karl Krogmann

    Bidondi is a loud, obnoxious moron; a simple-minded goon. Let him go, he’s fun to watch.

  • eljefejeff

    a friend of mine sent me a bunch of infowars links a couple years ago. One of them was a video by a female soldier who claimed to have heard her superiors discuss how martial law was about to be implemented very soon. The comments below the video were calling her a patriot and thanking her for warning us. The video was uploaded to youtube in 2010 or 11. Well here we are in 2014. No martial law. Big shocker. Where is the admission of bullshit?
    In 2012 during election season a friend of a relative of mine, another infowars follower, told me that within 1 year, our country would be unrecognizable and under martial law or in FEMA camps. Again, when will they admit they were wrong? This shit has been going on for decades. This is why none of us have any energy to debate this. It’s been proven wrong. It’s like Creationism. Total crap. What’s the point? You’ll just have to figure out one day on your own that you’ve wasted years believing something that’s simply not true.

  • Stuffed Llama

    My, such an invective, and all for a man you consider to have a “barely functional brain.” And let’s be honest here: “My favorite thing of the day comes courtesy of a friend of mine who, through what I’d imagine is a little bit of amusing skulduggery, gained a window into the barely functional brain of InfoWars “‘reporter'” Dan Bidondi.” You put a “friend” up to friending Dan on Facebook so you could get dirt on him. This is called dishonesty. You appear to practice “yellow journalism”.

    Dan isn’t perfect. He’s one of my FB friends and the truth is I’ve thought to “unfriend” him on more than one occasion. But there is a quality about Dan that kept me from doing this. Dan is honest and passionate about what he is saying. And that a man, you consider beneath you in intellect and grammar, is willing to “come as he is ” without pretense or the putting on of airs (such as one as yourself might do) endears him to me.

    I do not like Alex Jones and rarely listen to him. This has to do with his personality. But I do consider his message as yet another data point to consider. You think people who listen to what you consider to be the lunatic fringe to be “followers” or “gullible” or “sheep”. I find the opposite to be true. Those who are willing to consider the unconventional keep their minds at the ready. I employ critical thinking to everything I read. And that process has brought me to the conclusion that the mainstream media is little more than propaganda. Context shifting aka “spin” is their approach to everything. Therefore, like many others, I turn to the alternative sources — no matter how outrageous they may appear — to get the necessary additional information to establish the context of the information/spin/lies coming from the official sources, and their sycophants like you.

    I’m bookmarking your blog and will monitor it on occasion, not because of your attack on Dan, but because I learn even from assholes like you. Please note you used the word “fucking” and therefore I am entitled to call you asshole.

    • http://www.politicalruminations.com/ nicole

      “But I do consider his message as yet another data point to consider”

      Enough said.

    • David Latona

      Not trying to debate you here, especially in light of nicole’s correct assessment, but just wanted to point out that the critical thinking that you claim to champion does not work the way you think it does. It is a process that is much more akin to the so-called scientific method, in that it relies on stuff like evidence, Occam’s razor, deductive and inductive reasoning etc. to test the validity of any given claim. Sure, the media is often manipulative and dishonest, but that easily verifiable fact does not logically entail that a silent cabal of authority figures decided to kill three human beings and mutilate and harm others with homemade explosives strapped on innocent scapegoats with the purpose of… what, exactly? I’m still waiting for Obama to decree the dissolution of Congress, impose martial law and send all ‘non-sycophants’ to Hawaiian concentration camps. It is, simply put, a delusion, a fable, a figment of your perplexed imaginations… until you prove the contrary. If it somehow turns out that you are actually right, with empirical proof supporting Bidondo’s or Alex Jones’ absurd statements, I’ll be the first to aknowledge it and eat my hat (reluctantly, since the only way they could be right is by sheer coincidence, really good intuition or by already being ‘in’ on the conspiracy, which would make them purposeful liars and hypocrites even if what they say is true). Until then, enjoy the mild contempt and pity most sane, rational people will throw at you, because of course you have an undisputable right to free speech. Just watch out for the secret government assassins who might want to silence those who have seen the light.

  • Colt Seavers

    garbage, this article just attacks Dan’s character and calls a foul mouthed intellectually-bankrupt coward a hero? Chez… are you in the 3rd grade and you just discovered profanity or something? i’m going to have a bowel movement at how poorly written this article was. This cannot be taken seriously

    {poop noises}

    • dbtheonly

      Bravo! A truly intellectual and telling reply.

  • IMiss AmericaTwo

    I am sorry. ur such a Sheep. we Need good Informed Journalists in this Country.. that is why our Nation has been taken over. and being destroyed.. its People Like You. who get to write Hit Pieces. Why don’t you Write about the Bilderbergs.. the CFR. those people are Implenting Policies to Destroy the World. OR FUKUSHIMA.. are you in CALI.. Well get Ready.. cause you will be leaving to avoid the Cancer.. Asshole.. INFOWARS!… Cause telling the Truth.. its Tyrannical in a World Full of Deceit.. U need to Join.. IN THE INFORMATION WAR.. BRAIN!

    • Oarboar

      English, motherfucker. Do you speak it?

      • David Latona

        Ha! That one had me lol’ing for a while.

      • http://www.politicalruminations.com/ nicole


    • David Latona

      I am sorry. ur such a Hamster. we Need good Informed Comenters on this Internet… that is why our Web has been decending into. bad and being destroyed.. its People Like You. who get to spew Bulshit Comments which make no Sence. Why don’t you Write about SKYNET and Lincoln Burrows being Framed by the Company b4 his Prison Break. OR RAIN.. are you in PLANET EARTH.. Well get Ready.. cause you will be leaving to avoid the Akward Rally’s with the Other Hamsters.. Urinal tract.. INFOWARS!… Cause making Stuff up.. its Moronical in a World Full of Facts.. U need to See a psychiatrist.. AND GET A SPELL CHECKER.. BRAIN!

      …is the only organ you seem to lack.

    • Frederic Poag

      I’m sorry I can’t debate you. I’m too distracted by your selfie which I’m sure is you. Damn this lizard lions of mine (miss spelled on purpose, and with love).

      Hey thanks for the business BTW!

    • Michael Webster

      Own up – you’re Sarah Palin right?

  • Timothy McGaffin II

    Dan Bidondi and all those who stand up for the truth are going to be called “crazy” by those who don’t want to look at the facts. Those who refuse to look at the facts are jealous or ignorant of those who do. It’s easier for small minds and small hearts to call people “crazy” rather than to take the time and effort to research the truth for themselves.

    • David Latona

      Please do outline those ‘facts’ and the corresponding sources. I’m bored and could use a chuckle or two.

      • Timothy McGaffin II

        Fact: you can’t give up liberty for “security”. Security comes from liberty. Fact: False-flags are well documented all throughout history. Fact: these boys accused of the bombings were carrying backpacks on one shoulder with hardly anything in them, no big industrial bombs. Fact: the colors of the backpacks don’t match the supposed color of the backpack supposedly used in the bombings. Fact: the Boston Globe reported before the bombings happened that there was going to be a controlled explosion at the address of the finish line. Fact: There were bomb sniffing dogs all over the place and bomb drills going on. Fact: The mayor and police chief lied in the press conferences when they said there was no bomb sniffing dogs and no announcements of any bomb drills going on.

        I suggest you read some books, learn history, read the Constitution, understand what your unalienable rights are and why they cannot be violated. ie: if you violate your privacy and liberty, you are going to get slavery, NOT security. If a real investigation is done, all of the facts above will be acknowledged rather than ignored and the true criminals were not 2 boys who were on the payroll of the FBI/CIA and were only set-up as patsies but the real criminals are those wolves in sheep’s clothing who have infiltrated our gov’t and law enforcement to carry out their crimes under the guise of gov’t. Master criminals are not stupid, they know how to dupe the uneducated.

        • Michael Webster

          Perhaps you should buy a dictionary. None of those things you posted are facts. Some of them are cliches without any meaning, let alone factual basis, such as:

          “Fact: you can’t give up liberty for “security”. Security comes from liberty.”

          Some are incorrect and ludicrous statements:
          “False-flags are well documented all throughout history.” – not in any history based on facts.

          Some are stupid strawmen:
          “Fact: these boys accused of the bombings were carrying backpacks on one shoulder with hardly anything in them, no big industrial bombs.” – The bombs were in pressure cookers.

          Some only the most gullible could possibly believe for a second:
          “Fact: the Boston Globe reported before the bombings happened that there was going to be a controlled explosion at the address of the finish line. “

        • DARRELL


    • Michael Webster

      Bidondi and those like him wouldn’t know a fact if it slapped them in the face. I dread to imagine the daily life of such paranoid conspiracy theorists. Every time they run out of cigarettes, or bump their elbow on the corner of a table, it would be just another opportunity to confabulate a ludicrously complex explanation for reality that has to necessarily include dark forces.

      It’s certainly easier to just observe that Bidondi is crazy than to attempt to untangle the wild irrational ramblings that he spews.

  • A.j. Frikin Twinam

    Bro, do you even “The creature from Jekyll Island”?

  • Infowars Dan Bidondi

    CHEZ, you think by pointing out my miss spellings and grammar that it makes me Illiterate?
    Instead of showing your ignorance and insulting me personally, why don’t you ever challenge my questions I asked at the press conferences??
    I tell you why because you are a gutless coward who likes to make his 3 minutes of fame off people like me.
    You think my ridiculing me makes you right, or makes you win?? NOOOOOOOO
    My grammar and spelling is horrible so what? That doesn’t take away from the questions and facts that myself and Infowars posted.
    I know how people like you work, you love to insult and ridicule people, but in reality you would never touch the subjects at hand because you know we would blow you clear out of the water.
    So instead of insults, I will give you 3 more minutes of fame and challenge wit to wits, on the questions I asked.
    But I know you are going to come back at me with insults and in your puny little brain thinking you out smarted me.
    So since we are in the spot light with all this, step up to the plate boy.

    • Charlie Biggens

      Chez don’t bother. Dan always says he’ll debate someone but never does. I’ve tried to call him out multiple times but he’s afraid of people who know how to read.

    • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

      “Miss spellings?”

      • Gregg Travis

        This is the type of irony people familiar with Danny B have come to expect

      • DARRELL


    • Frederic Poag

      I’m sure the “step up to the plate boy” will get him to debate you. If not just call him a pussy. That’ll work for sure!

    • Michael Webster

      It’s lucky the actual founders were extremely well educated, and not paranoid illiterates, otherwise the constitution might be a very different, and completely useless document.

      By the way, when you actually come up with a statement that bears even the slightest relationship to reality, I’m sure you’ll be able to engage in a debate. In the meantime the only people you get to impress are your fellow paralytics.

  • Infowars Dan Bidondi

    LOL WOW… That whole article of nothing but banter and picking out my miss spellings and grammar… But the whole time NOT ONCE did you even touch upon nor try to debunk anything we have stated which is truth.
    10 paragraphs of ridiculing me and not once sentence to try to even address the questions I asked..
    I will challenge you to a debate anytime, this way you can’t hide behind your articles with your one sided opinions.
    Who cares if my grammar and spelling is off, that doesn’t take away from the facts pal!

    • Gregg Travis

      Why would someone argue with an illiterate? That’s just not fair. Learn to read and then people will take you more seriously. (Maybe)

      • Michael Webster

        It’s like dueling with an unarmed man – unfair as you say.

    • David Latona

      I’m sure Chez wouldn’t pick on your incredibly poor linguistic abilities if you’d grown up in say, Chad, South Sudan or Afghanistan; but c’mon man, you’re calling yourself a journalist. That’s the relevant part. It is too much of a paradox for someone who apparently writes for a living to be so bad at basic orthography, grammar and synthax. That’s why you’re being ridiculed for it. You’re not illiterate because of circumstance (even in this country, universal education ensures that), but because you simply do not seem to care. And it makes your sophisticated conclusions about national tragedies look all the more moronic, which I assure you is no easy feat.

      • Michael Webster

        Not only that, they guy compares himself with the Founding Fathers. I don’t know much about them, but I do know they were damn good writers, and highly educated.

  • http://www.politicalruminations.com/ nicole

    Oh hell, now you’ve forced me to feel sorry for him.

    • Infowars Dan Bidondi

      Nicole, don’t buy into Chez’s one sided lies.. I asked real questions which on record both Boston Globe and Local 15 reported early the day of the Bombing but no mainstream media picked it up, I ask real questions and I get frowned upon.
      See Chez writes this article and notice how all he does is bash me and NOT ONCE did he ever try to debunk my questions or so?
      Plus when this guy in Watertown was yelling and swearing at me, no one likes to say how there was 3 kids in the crowd there and the parents where yelling at him to stop swearing in front of their kids. The ONLY reason I didn’t yell back.
      But either way, Chez and people like him, they love to try to attack me for my miss spelled words, my grammar and even attack me on a personal level BUT NOT ONE TIME EVER dare to even try to challenge me on the questions I asked..
      Makes you wonder who really is the Illiterate
      Good day,

      • http://www.politicalruminations.com/ nicole

        “NOT ONCE did he ever try to debunk my questions or so?”

        He has no need to debunk your questions because you are not rational.

  • http://www.facebook.com/david.latona David Latona

    Up until reading this, I used to think Danny was a sick bastard; after reading it I can only bring myself to see him as sick. Poor guy, he fancies himself a real journalist when he couldn’t even pass a kindergarten test, and he’s clearly so delusional and Messiah-complexed that he would be better off at a nice, enclosed facility with state-provided lodging. I wish the rant in the video (which I enjoyed at the time, a LOT) could’ve instead been directed at Alex J. Napier, but he’s too busy seating his fat ass on the Iron Throne of Imbecility. You’re absolutely right, Jones is the Joker and his minions are nothing more than mentally-challenged chumps who find their purpose in following their all-knowing leader into battle against Evil and Deceit.

  • Christopher Foxx

    in an act of heroism by a private citizen not seen since, I don’t know, maybe United flight 93

    Really? Arguing with a guy you disagree with is comparable to storming the cockpit and sacrificing yourself to save others?

    Dang. I saw a lot of Flight 93 level heroism last time I was at a Yankee’s game. Who knew?

    • http://www.facebook.com/david.latona David Latona

      But Christopher, it wasn’t a mere disagreement of ideas. It was a Bostonian, who had very recently seen his city go through an act of irrational violence against innocents, confronting a man who has divulged and promoted the idea that it was all staged, the victims were actors and that the gubbinmint had ordered and executed the attack. I can totally empathize with the berater, it has to feel like a big slap in the face to see people publicly distort and manipulate a tragedy to fit their own grifter, paranoia-feeding agenda. That’s why everyone at The Daily Banter has been writing so much about sleazy Mr. Jones, because it’s extremely disrespectful at the very least, if not outright dangerous and irresponsible, to spew this crap to a considerable (albeit completely ignorant) audience. I can’t imagine the level of disgust the families of the four people who died must be feeling when they hear Bidondi and the rest insult their losses mere HOURS afterwards. And the comparison with Flight 93 was tounge-in-cheek, not meant to be taken literally.

    • http://twitter.com/chezpazienza Chez Pazienza

      Do you take everything you see written in front of you perfectly seriously?

      • villemar

        Aspergers, how does it work?

      • dbtheonly


        There are several of us you take what you write seriously. Are we “humor-challenged” or did you not make it clear where your serious discussion leaves off & your over the top humor begins?

        Mock as you will.

  • histrogeek

    He does have the ring of a paranoid schizophrenic, right down to the disorganized writing. I wonder if the reason he can’t see his kid has something to do with a mental health evaluation rather than anything he did or said after Boston.

    Definitely Zsasz to the Joker, and like the Joker Alex Jones has no problem tossing his pawns away.

  • dbtheonly

    The Founding Fathers were called lunatics, conspiracy theorists, &/or terrorists? Wow! And here I thought it was only Rebels and Traitors.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=663669914 Sean Richardson

      Wouldn’t the Founding Fathers, by definition, have been conspiracists?

      • http://www.politicalruminations.com/ nicole

        Yes, but they wouldn’t have been termed “conspiracy theorists” as db pointed out. Therein lies the difference.

      • dbtheonly


        Conspirators. Committees of Correspondence, Sons of Liberty, & such.

        Not Conspiracist. But then again the British really were coming to take your guns away, or at least get the artillery & community powder.

    • Infowars Dan Bidondi

      People frown upon you when you go against the grain.. Same with the Founders, even today our Government teaches that our Founding Fathers where terrorist. They don’t want people having a mind of their own and having the guts to ask real questions instead of the soft ball questions mainstream media loves asking.
      I ask real questions and I get frowned upon.

      • dbtheonly

        First off, my education was governed by my County School Board. Those elections are non-partisan. National gavoverent involvement comes only about 10 years ago & only in meeting national testing standards.

        I agree that the term “terrorist” is a slippery one. Did the harassment of Loyalists, tarring & feathering, & such rise to the level of “terrorism”? Did the belief that Gerore III planned to take away our Liberties make them “conspiracy theorists”? The problem is that you’re using 21st Century terms to describe 18th Century actions. The gears don’t quite mesh.

      • Charlie Biggens

        This writer deserves a Pulitzer prize.

      • Michael Webster

        People certainly frown on you when you go against all modern definitions of sanity. The Founder’s wouldn’t even give you the time of day. They spent years in education and would have seen your insane narcissism for what it is.

    • Michael Webster

      The founding fathers, Reagan, the Koch Brothers and Murdoch were certainly called lunatics and terrorists.

      • dbtheonly

        First off, lucky to have the Disqus reply notifications on.

        Called terrorists and lunatics? By whom? Citing “wingnuttia” doesn’t count.

        But isn’t that the core issue? What you see as revealed truth; the rest of us see as lunatic ravings.


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