By Jessica Furst
People! It was the Met Ball on Monday! Did you miss it? Did you totally love it? I, like, totally adored it. Beyond.
You know, the Met Ball. Where like totally amazing, really famous, super-glamorous and really rich people go and get photographed and like, totally, walk up the stairs and stand in front of photographers and tell people who they’re wearing and make fashion forward choices and like, totally change the world and then they might, like, strike a really good pose and maybe they’ll smile but will probably just stare at other people and think ‘I’m totally better than you,’ or see other celebrities prettier than them and then go and stand next to them and try and say something really funny so they will be photographed and it will like, totally transform their career.
Who knew what the Met Ball is? Personally, and as I always do, I relied on Wikipedia. Where would we be without it?
Apparently it’s THE event of the year (but it is only May) and it is a joyous (and clearly necessary) celebration of the annual exhibition of the fashion exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum.
A wonder to behold, by all accounts.
This year’s theme was punk, which apparently means by looking at most of the pictures you want your shoes/boots to be made of the same material as your outfit. Definitely a fashion forward moment. Cough, cough, where is Kim Kardashian’s hand?
But can we all admit that the Met Ball is just plain ridiculous? It’s not just the trail of celebrities turning up wearing very odd outfits for no good reason (I personally would never go to a museum dressed like that). It’s also because IT’S EVERYWHERE.
Lurking around each corner of a website, each section of a paper are the pictures, the commentary of the fashion from the pictures, the analysis of the outfits from the pictures, the stylist’s comments of the outfits, the celebrity’s comments on their outfits from the pictures with or without their stylist sitting next to them.
I don’t want to know whose sideboob was better, Katie or Anne? Or if Anne Hathway’s now blonde hair detracted from said sideboob.
The evening was probably best summed up by Kristen Stewart. The young vampire actress (who was like totally cheating on her English boyfriend, who, by the way, did not deserve it at all) looked as impressed as I would be when hungry and being offered a tissue as my lunch.