9 Quotes That Prove Jamie Dimon is a Giant Dick

Macho man and JP Morgan Chase Chairman, and CEO Jamie Dimon is regarded as a titan on Wall St, and a dick by pretty much everyone else. He's facing a vote on whether he gets to keep his chairman role at the bank tomorrow. Here are 9 reasons why he shouldn't.
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Macho man and JP Morgan Chase Chairman, and CEO Jamie Dimon is regarded as a titan on Wall St, and a dick by pretty much everyone else. He's facing a vote on whether he gets to keep his chairman role at the bank tomorrow. Here are 9 reasons why he shouldn't.
Jamie Dimon

Jamie Dimon: Wall St Titan and major dick

Macho man and JP Morgan Chase Chairman, President and CEO Jamie Dimon is regarded as a titan on Wall St, and a dick by pretty much everyone else. Dimon is a balls-to-the-wall capitalist and unapologetic advocate of the system that makes people like him rich, and brought the global economy to its knees in 2008.

In April 2o12, JP Morgan reported a loss in a London-based division, first calculated to be $2 billion. The estimates then kept going up, finally reaching over $6 billion. Dimon dismissed the incident initially, calling it a "tempest in a teapot", then embarrassingly had to walk back his statement and accept his bank screwed up big time.

Thankfully, Dimon might get dealt a small dose of humility tomorrow as shareholder groups are calling for the bank to strip him of his chairman job. At the bank's annual meeting in Florida, several groups including the union AFSCME, the NYCCO (New York City Comptroller's Office) will ask bank shareholders to approve a proposal that splits the roles of chairman and CEO, giving the chairman job to someone outside the bank. This would essentially strip Dimon of much of his power and ensure he faced far more scrutiny in his job.

But of course Dimon wants none of this, claiming the event is a "sideshow" orchestrated by unions. Dimon wants everyone to understand just how how vital rich bankers are to the survival of America.  "I am not embarrassed to be a banker" Dimon once told a roomful of corporate clients in response to attacks on his industry.

Quite the claim given the public had to put up $12.8 trillion to keep his industry from collapsing.

Dimon, described by the New Yorker "as an overgrown frat boy" has a long history of making dick statements, making his impending comeuppance all the more gratifying.

Here's 9 quotes from the Wall St mogul that definitively prove that he is in fact, a giant dick:

1. "That’s why I’m richer than you."

- Jamie Dimon Speaking to Mike Mayo CLSA analyst when asked whether he agrees that customers should feel safer with banks that have higher capital ratios (like JP Morgan).

2. "I have gotten disturbed at... some of the Democrats' anti-business behavior, the sentiment, the attacks on work ethic and successful people. I think it's very counter-productive."

- Jamie Dimon on Meet the Press in 2012forgetting that his industry almost wrecked the entire global economy.

3. "You read constantly that banks are lobbying regulators and elected officials as if this is inappropriate. We don't look at it that way."

-Jamie Dimon in his annual shareholder letter arguing that banks have the right to corrupt the political system with money (JP Morgan spent $7.5 million on lobbying in 2011).

4. "I am not embarrassed to be a banker. I am not embarrassed to be in business."

Jamie Dimon defending the business of taking tax payers money and lending it back to them at extortionate rates.

5. "The term 'too big to fail' must be excised from our vocabulary."

- Jamie Dimon forgetting that the public bailed out the banks because the were indeed, too big to fail (and still are).

6. "Giving debt relief to people that really need it, that's what foreclosure is."

-Jamie Dimon arguing that banks taking people's houses and kicking them onto the streets was in fact, a good thing for people ruined by debt.

7. "JPMorgan would be fine if we stopped talking about the damn nationalization of banks. We've got plenty of capital. To policymakers, I say where were they? ... They approved all these banks. Now they're beating up on everyone, saying look at all these mistakes, and we're going to come and fix it."

— Jamie Dimon in 2009 at Davos speaking about the financial crisis, forgetting that his own bank required nearly $100 billion in taxpayer help to fill its own lack of capital during the meltdown.

8. "Just because we're stupid doesn't mean everybody else was."

— Jamie Dimon on the losses incurred by JP Morgan in 2012, rejecting the notion that more regulation is needed to prevent them happening again.

9. "We don't think there are cases where people were evicted out of homes when they shouldn't have been."

— Jamie Dimon in 2010 responding to the investigation led by 49 state attorney generals into bank foreclosure practices. Along with several other banks, JP Morgan settled with regulators after widespread mortgage abuse was found and paid out a combined $9.2 billion to those it foreclosed on illegally.

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