Junk Mail: Reservations at Hotel The Daily Banter!

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Ben Cohen
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In this weeks edition of 'Junk Mail' where we respond to bizarre emails we get through our contact form, we reply to a request for a reservation for '10 nites' (sic) accommodation with us in June.

The email we received from a 'Mr Williams Cole' at williams.colegagsv@yahoo.co.uk:

Good day,

I want to make a Reservation for a group of 4 people coming to your area from 20th to 30th of June 2013. Please do tabulate/write down the total cost of the accommodation for the 10 Nites.
We will prefer 2 double rooms but if is not available then we will go for 4 single rooms OR an apartment that will be ok for the 4 persons for the 10 Nights. Also we will be happy if any special discount is given to us.
Get back to me immediately with the total cost, and kindly confirm if you accept check payment.
Kind Regards,
Williams

And our response sent from The Daily Banter's official email account:

Good day to you too Williams!!

Am I speaking with multiple people? It's just I've never met anyone with the first name 'Williams', so please forgive me if I have misunderstood!

We would be delighted to accomodate you and your 3 friends at Hotel The Daily Banter - we've been waiting for someone to finally make a booking, and we will do our best to ensure your absolute comfort and luxury.

Instead of having 2 double rooms, 4 single rooms, or an apartment, why don't you take 4 apartments? Hotel The Daily Banter can be customized to your exact likings, so why not go for the biggest and the best!

We will of course extend to you the special discount given you contacted us through our website form. We usually get pesky comments on articles and requests to change usernames, so we'd be delighted to give you the maximum discount available!

The cost of the 4 apartments for 10 nights at Hotel The Daily Banter comes to $13.25 (a discount of $3,986.75). We do accept checks, but would require a cash deposit of $64,000 upon arrival.

Please let me know if these terms are acceptable, and we look forward to seeing you in June!

Best wishes,
The Management at Hotel The Daily Banter 

We will of course update if we hear back from Williams. And then maybe announce we are getting out of the content business and into hotel management...