Alex Jones’ Latest: Obama is the Leader of Al-Qaida

alex_jones_obama_terroristRemember the days when there were three television networks, you could fill up your gas tank for $15 and Guy Fieri was just a homophobic, talentless, annoyingly “stoked” tween named “Guy Ferry” rather than a homophobic, talentless, annoyingly “stoked” television mogul? Ah yes, simpler times. I’m also old enough to remember when political conspiracy theories, however ridiculous they seem now, possessed some small layer of believability — as if a team of experts were working really, really hard to construct a plausible narrative based on their own paranoia and obsessive cravings for attention. Whoever they were, they were craftsmen. Insane craftsmen.

I remember when it was perfectly reasonable to suggest that the CIA and the Pentagon were involved in the assassination of President Kennedy, or when they said the moon landing was filmed by Stanley Kubrick inside a Hollywood sound stage because it was easier than actually going there.

And occasionally a conspiracy theory might’ve been on the money. For example, yes, the U.S.S. Maine was probably sunk in order to precipitate the Spanish-American War. And, yes, there was talk of repeating the tactic as a pretext for an invasion of Cuba.

But you’d think in the internet age when it’s really easy to debunk the truly ridiculous theories via a universe of information, conspiracy theorists would work even harder to come up with better ideas than the hooey they’re churning out these days. Instead, modern conspiracy theorists tend to be malicious, stupid and, too often, racist.

It probably doesn’t help that the man who’s most responsible for marketing in this crap, Alex Jones, is an escaped mental patient who happens to know a thing or two about business models. If he hadn’t made a career out of this stuff, he’d surely be institutionalized but, instead, he’s become the Walt Disney of Conspiracy Schlock.

Remember a while back when he said — out loud and without embarrassment — that the government was reducing our testosterone in order to turn us all into homosexuals? He also blamed gun massacres on anti-depressant medications, a theory that was later repeated by Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN). Regardless, his Infowars.com website is the Walmart of conspiracy outlets.

Here’s the newest theory from Infowars.com, and it hit the internet last week.

Obama Now Global Head of Al-Qaeda
Will President order drone strike on White House?

Paul Joseph Watson & Alex Jones
Infowars.com
March 21, 2013

President Barack Obama is now the global head of Al-Qaeda – bankrolling, arming and equipping terrorists around the world in order to achieve his administration’s geopolitical objectives – while simultaneously invoking the threat of terrorists domestically to destroy the bill of rights.

The most hilariously moronic thing about this rehash and update to the Birther/Secret-Muslim/Pals-Around-With-Terrorists conspiracy theory is that it directly contradicts Jones’ apparent opposition to the president’s drone strikes against suspected terrorists. In fact, without flinching, the article’s second paragraph begins with the line:

“…it has now been established that those merely suspected of engaging in terrorism, including US citizens, are subject to targeted drone strikes”

So the president, himself an evil terrorist, is killing evil terrorists and needs to stop? Okeedokee.

Clearly, Jones is both against terrorists and drone strikes on suspected terrorists like U.S.-born Anwar Al-Awlaki. He continues by writing:

“Obama must immediately order a drone strike on the White House because the facts documented below incontrovertibly demonstrate that it represents the headquarters of Al-Qaeda operations worldwide.”

Unless he’s being snarky, Jones suggests here that the president should order a drone strike to kill himself, a terrorist, and whoever else happens to be inside the White House at the time — most of whom are American citizens. Are you following this? Personally, I’m barely hanging on. It’s as if I’m listening to raving street loon shouting in tongues, and he hasn’t even really begun to get into the details.

This conspiracy theory is so shoddy that it debunks itself before it’s really even underway. It’d be like saying the moon landing was faked — on the surface of the moon! Gotcha! Either Obama is a terrorist or he’s wantonly murdering terrorists. It doesn’t make sense if he’s a criminal for killing terrorists and a criminal for being a terrorist.

Jones continues by diving into the recently invented theory about how the Obama administration, via the late ambassador Chris Stevens, had been trafficking arms and personnel from the al-Qaida-backed Libyan Islamic Fighting Group (LIFG) to al-Qaida-backed Syrian rebels. In this case, terrorists are bad. You might remember this conspiracy theory when it was entered into the Senate record by Saint Rand Paul while questioning former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton back in January.

Toward the end, Jones loops back to drone strikes and Anwar Al-Awlaki.

American citizen Anwar Al-Awlaki was killed by a drone strike simply for producing propaganda videos and communicating with accused terrorists. His 16-year-old son was similarly slaughtered for merely sharing his father’s surname. Other American citizens like John Walker Lindh were imprisoned and tortured in Guantanamo Bay for fighting with the Taliban.

Hmm. Yeah. I’ve heard this before. But never really in the context that Obama is himself a terrorist and that he must attack the White House with a drone.

But isn’t the pitch for a drone strike against an accused terrorist on U.S. soil an endorsement of the drone policy? And didn’t Jones just criticize the drone policy when it was used against Al-Awlaki who, like Obama (according to Jones), has aided terrorists? And isn’t Jones simultaneously indicting terrorist groups in Syria and Libya (and the White House), while defending suspected al-Qaida terrorist Al-Awlaki and terrorist John Walker Lindh?

My head hurts.

None of it makes any sense because it was obviously written while Jones was either in the throes of a schizophrenic episode or he simply dictated it to his intern without bothering to proofread for, you know, basic storytelling consistency. To repeat, Rand Paul, Marsha Blackburn and other members of Congress have endorsed various Jones theories. What’s their excuse? Oh, and let this be a cautionary lesson for people like Glenn Greenwald and others who have a predilection for getting all cloak-and-dagger about the president’s pursuit of terrorists. There’s a really fine line between being a diligent watchdog and being a crackpot zealot who deals in speculative outrage. Speaking of Greenwald, if he’s interested in calling out actual racists both in the context of the war on terrorism, he should check out the comments under the Jones article. Over-the-top scary.

Yes, it’s all very contradictory and silly. But at the same time, there are serious people in the corridors of political influence who are exploiting the suckers who are predisposed to believe, and so these leaders have tapped into this racist, paranoid, frightened, angry market segment. Tea Party Republicans, like Rand Paul and the others, have discovered that the passion generated by these theories makes for good politics. And the exploitation process elevates even the most ridiculous conspiracy theories to legitimate mainstream circles where they tend to flourish. Dangerously.

  • D_C_Wilson

    The beauty of a good conspiracy theory is that cannot even be debunked by evidence or reason, because anything that disproves it is merely more proof of how deep the cover up goes. In this case, it’s obvious that Obama is killing Al Qaeda terrorists in or to cover up his own involvement as the leader of Al Qaeda. The only way he can effectively lead Al Qaeda is by keeping it secret, so he has to destroy Al Qaeda in order keep it in operation.

    BTW, it really helps if you read Alex Jones’ diatribes in the voice of Chris Farley’s Motivational Speaker character and end every paragraph with, “When you’re living in a van down by the river!”

  • SexBobOmb

    ^THIS!!!

  • villemar

    Fun Fact: Over the course of the past 4 years or so I’ve taken screenshots that I’ve personally seen in random comments on Facebook and YouTube that express the desire to murder the President. There were 4 in total. Three were from Alex Jones Cultists (usually in all-caps).

    • jmichael

      Prove it or retract it! I’m setting my stopwatch.

      • villemar

        Lol, get fucked, batshit failtroll.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jeremy.countryman.37 Jeremy Countryman

    You could have written this piece without adding to the stigma already surrounding mental illness by making reference to “mental patient[s]” and schizophrenia. Yes Jones is an irresponsible incoherent moron douche, but equating him with individuals that suffer from real mental health problems is unnecessary and reinforces negative stereotypes surrounding mental illness.

    • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

      Fair enough. But why are you stigmatizing unintelligent people with the word “moron?”

    • kfreed

      A simple observation. Alex Jones isn’t right in the head. He should seriously be evaluated.

  • js hooper

    First off…LMAO at the “info warriors” in the comments trying to claim that Alex Jones is right and that Bob hasn’t disproven his insane theories.

    In relation to Glenn Greenwald ( or as I now call him…Bradley Dronewald) he is basically a Cato Institute Paultard Bircher who’s talking point mirror Alex Jones.He has as much in common with liberals as David Duke ( who is best buds with Glenn’s idol Ron Paul).

    I wish people on the left would stop trying to convince themselves that he is some sort of lost progressive that they have to keep in the tent.

    • js hooper

      Dronewald’s latest blog entries have become nothing more than all out advocacy for Terrorist leader Anwar Al-Awlaki. He is now fully invested in portraying him as an innocent victim and is a vocal apologist for his terrorist activities.He has gone beyond arguing “legality” and is now a spokesman for Al Qaeda.His heavily moderated comment section is filled with lunatics praising Terrorist attacks on America as justified because of Israeli & US foreign policy.

      • Scopedog

        And you know what the sad thing is? Greenwald is the type of person that Al-Awlaki would want dead–American, white, privileged….and gay.

        • jmichael

          Like Bawney Frank?

      • Lady Willpower

        It was only a matter of time, I suppose.

    • Scopedog

      “I wish people on the left would stop trying to convince themselves that
      he is some sort of lost progressive that they have to keep in the tent.”

      I wish the same thing, but it seems that some folks can’t help themselves…as long as someone mentions drones, Bradley Manning, Wikileaks, and Obama being a tyrant in one sentence, then they go moist in the loins and swoon.

      • villemar

        That’s Baby Jesus Manning to you.

    • kfreed

      Thank you. I don’t know why, in the age of Google, supposed “progressive” Greenwald fans can’t figure out what he’s all about. Personally, I think they’re actually Paultards, for the most part, trying to pass themselves off as progressives. Piss them off and they’ll usually end up calling you a “statist.” That right there is THE hallmark of a Tea Party Paultard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506267282 Jeremy Arthur Vandelay

    This article doesn’t disprove anything Jones is saying. I was hoping to read it was nonsense that Obama is funding and training al-qaeda backing operatives in Syria. This doesn’t discredit any of those statements.

    If that is true, how is anything Jones is saying out of line?

    • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

      I wasn’t clear enough that it was nonsense?

    • Christopher Foxx

      Jeremy, if I say the moon is made of green cheese and the mice that live there are preparing for an invasion of Earth, are you really going to insist the ridiculousness of my claim isn’t self evident?

      “Look, folks. He said moon mice are invading and all anyone did was roll their eyes and call him crazy. Nobody offered any proof to show he’s wrong so clearly we do need to watch the skies for tiny spaceships!”

      Seriously?

    • kfreed

      To borrow the most beloved line of the Paultards: “Prove it or retract it!”
      ROFL.

  • jmichael

    >Speaking of Greenwald, if he’s interested in calling out actual racists both in the context of the war on terrorism, he should check out the comments under the Jones article

    Face it Bob, you’re a liliputian, who can’t stand up who can’t stand up or hold a candle to either man.

    • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

      Yeah, I need to be more unhinged.

      • jmichael

        No you need passion.

        According to wikipedia and imdb you’re a (has been or never was) director, producer, writer, actor, who switched to blogging (professionaly?) You’re site isn’t even in the top 200,000th worldwide and has less than 500 sites linking into him?

        Oh well fourteen minuted and counting

        • Lady Willpower

          Yes, I’m sure you’re a HUGE success.

        • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

          Great, so you’ve looked me up on Wikipedia and Alexa — um, because I’m an unpopular nobody? Thanks for spending your valuable time investigating (??) someone who you think is irrelevant.

          By the way, just to flesh out the bio for you… I’ve also been one of the top 10 most popular/fanned contributors to The Huffington Post since 2005 (check HuffPost’s ranking on Alexa, Sherlock). I’ve appeared on CNN, MSNBC (Olbermann, Maddow, Schultz, Cenk), Current, BBC, SkyTV and too many syndicated radio shows to count, including Howard Stern, Randi Rhodes, Stephanie Miller and Geraldo Rivera. This week alone I was invited to be on NOW with Alex Wagner (MSNBC) and John Fugelsang’s Current show. I’ve published a book, I’ve hosted my own radio shows, I’ve written/directed/produced an award-winning independent movie, I’ve created and produced my own animated TV series which ran for two seasons on MTV and VH1, I’ve directed and produced music videos for A-list recording artists including Iron Maiden, Yes and Everclear, and I’m responsible for several multi-million-download viral cartoons going back to May of 2000. Today, I’m earning a comfortable living as an political news/blog editor, writer and podcaster. And I live in motherfucking Hawaii. Overall, my career has spanned nearly 20 years.

          Feel free to suck it.

          • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1655290390 Steven Skelton

            Maiden rules Bob. There’s something we can agree on. Up the Irons!

          • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

            Maiden rules! And they were very good to me.

          • villemar

            Yes, but “jmichael” can typing!

          • kfreed

            Are we sure it’s not jmichael’s cat can typing?

        • kfreed

          Passion? Every raging lunatic can be said to have passion.

          Would Koch $$$ have something to do with it?

          [C’mon, Glenn. We know it’s you.] ;)

          • Lady Willpower

            It probably really is Greenwald. He’s been known to engage in a little sock-puppetry in the past.

          • kfreed

            I’ve noticed;) It’s too bad Wuzzadem’s Glenn Greenwald sock puppet skit has been scrubbed. It was pretty spot on.

    • Scopedog

      Oh, I think Bob has shown that not only can he stand up to both of these jerkoffs (Greenwald and Jones), but he also holds a flamethrower to them.

    • villemar

      NWO! Killuminati! Project 21! Hot Water Burn Baby! I Can Typing!

    • kfreed

      So why does Greenwald spend so much time pimping confirmed racists like the Pauls who have ties to white supremacists?

  • jmichael

    Bob: My head hurts.

    That’s what happens when Bob ties his shoe.

    • Clecinosu

      And when you tie your shoe, your head falls off?

    • D_C_Wilson

      Whereas in your case, it’s when you zip up your pants.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=663669914 Sean Richardson

    “It’d be like saying the moon landing was faked — on the surface of the moon! Gotcha!”

    I just wanted to say that I loved this analogy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Alyson.Chadwick Alyson Chadwick

    Wow. I am not even sure how to respond to that. I need more coffee if I am going even try to think about this.

    • Christopher Foxx

      Well, actually thinking certainly puts you ahead of Alex Jones.

      • Clecinosu

        I honestly believe Jones raves into a headset and lets Dragon Naturally Speaking do the typing.

  • http://twitter.com/tlavely Tony Lavely

    “… have discovered that the passion generated by these theories makes for good politics.”

    I’d suggest that “good politics” be replaced by “good theater.” Because it’s Bad Politics in a rational world. Oh, wait…

    • Christopher Foxx

      Don’t confuse politics and government. “Good government” is providing for the needs of the populace. “Good politics” is whatever gives your side an advantage over the other.

  • ranger11

    Is Guy Fieri the cooking show character? The one with blond spike-type hair? Gotta sorta keep up on the pop culture.

    • Christopher Foxx

      Yup. That’s him. “Chef” and sometime game show host.

      • Clecinosu

        That description was “money.”