Best Of Banter: GOP Govs Don't Care, Chuck C. Johnson's Still a Douche, and Bill O'Reilly's Most Bizarre Lie Yet
February 26th, 2015
Welcome to this week’s edition of The Daily Banter Mailbag! Today, Bob, Ben and Chez discuss John Boehner’s political future, the tone-deaf Republicans and resolutions for 2013!
1) I hope this one gets in in time to make the mailbag, but how the fuck did Boehner manage to hang onto his job??? Just yesterday Chris Christie was tearing him a new one in front of the whole country and today he’s reelected Speaker of the House. What gives?
Chez: I’m honestly a little surprised Boehner didn’t get ousted. Yeah, there’s a tendency, even among the insurgents, not to make too many waves considering what they’re up against at the moment, but Boehner really did get the shit kicked out of him yesterday. The only thing I can think of is that there are enough “moderate” — a term I use relatively — House Republicans who figure Boehner’s the best reptilian politician to sit at the head of the table and that appointing a true nut-job would basically be suicide. Honestly, who knows why those idiots do what they do anymore?
Bob: I hope he savors it because two years from now he’ll only be Speaker of His Barstool from the Great State of Merlot at “P.J. O’Filibusters” bar & grille on Capitol Hill. He’ll either be replaced by Eric Cantor or preferably a Democrat if they can take back the House. As for the vote yesterday, I thought for sure he’d be out.
Ben: How did Boehner manage to hold on to his job? How do any major Republicans hold on to any of their positions? There’s no use applying logical thinking to what the Republicans do – they’re batshit crazy, and the less brain cells they display, the higher up they get in the party. I mean, this is a party that thought Sarah Palin was seriously capable of being Vice President of the United States. Boehner is a complete joke, therefore he keeps his job.
2) What proves most from this week that the right hasn’t learned anything since the election and will never change, the fiscal cliff fiasco, the Sandy aid bill debacle, or the conspiracies about Hillary Clinton faking her brain injury so she doesn’t have to testify about Benghazi? Inquiring minds want to know.
Bob: Probably the Sandy aid bill, but I’m sure they’ll pass it today. However, they allowed the Violence Against Women Act expire and I’d say that’s the most tone-deaf thing the congressional Republicans have done since the election. They need more women to vote for them and so they do… this? They’re simply incapable of changing.
Ben: Er, all of the above? I know it’s pretty scary to watch, but it’s doing wonders for the Democrats. The more of this insanity, the better as Obama is learning how to play them like a fiddle. They’ve lost the public, and the Democrats are finally making this pay off legislatively speaking (the fiscal cliff being a pretty good example).
Chez: This is a trick question, right? The answer is all of them? I think that both the fiscal cliff and the Sandy incident that drew the wrath of Christie proved that the conservative power structure will continue to be political and economic nihilists, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that it’s hurting them. But yeah, Fox News and its ilk throwing out Clinton-as-the-Devil-era conspiracy theories — ones that of course involve Benghazi — is probably the most absurdly damning. It proves that they’re not only not going to get better — they’re apparently going to get much worse. I’m both curious and terrified to see what the bottom looks like for these people.
3) What are your biggest resolutions for 2013?
Chez: To stop being so obvious.
Bob: I have to get back on my bike. I haven’t even looked at it since before the election. But it’s going to really, really hurt.
Ben: Bit of a boring response here, but my life pretty much revolves around The Daily Banter. So my resolution (like last year) is to make it much, much better. Oh, and to stop breaking bones in my body as I seem to get at least two major injuries per year.
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February 26th, 2015
February 26th, 2015