January 29th, 2015
The Daily Banter Mail Bag!! Romney and Congress, Presidential Veggies, and Honey Boo Boo Retribution!!
Welcome to this week’s edition of The Daily Banter Mailbag! Today, Bob, Ben and Chez discuss the party balance in Congress, which food products to vote for, and retribution for a forced viewing of Honey Boo Boo.
Rachel Maddow had an interesting piece on her show Wednesday night about how Romney’s fundraiser comments could affect or damage close Congressional races. She also noted a number of Republicans who are trying to distance themselves from Romney almost like Republicans tried to distance themselves after that bonehead Akin made his “legitimate rape” comment. Do you see Romney’s “47%” comments having an effect on state races?
Ben: I think Romney’s comments will negatively affect the entire conservative movement if you ask me. The GOP hasn’t distanced itself from Romney’s comments enough so there will be a significant guilt-through-association effect. Plus it’s now become clear that that’s what the Republican Party thinks about poor people anyway – Romney was just saying it out loud. It’s hard to really assess just how seriously Romney has damaged his own campaign and the conservative movement, but lets put it this way – there’s nothing the Obama camp or anyone else could have dreamed of that would have been.
Chez: He definitely put a lot of Republicans in a tough position. They can’t exactly disown him but at least a few of them seem to be straddling a fine line and distancing themselves from what he said. The Romney campaign is certainly so inept, and it’s proven that it’s beholden to and working for only the very rich — which most voters aren’t — that I can understand the feeling by a lot of congressional candidates that they need to run their own campaigns independent of anything having to do with Romney. The overall Romney effect could definitely have an impact on the House and Senate. That said, I think that while what Romney said was boneheaded and offensive and should theoretically end his candidacy in a giant explosion of shame, once we get out of this news cycle — and onto the next one Romney will find a way to embarrass himself in — and if you remove yourself from the objective news outlets and think of only how this is all being portrayed on Fox, he’ll be fine with a lot of Republican and right-leaning voters.
Bob: It’s the 47% remarks along with the broader context of a failing campaign due to an ongoing series of mistakes. Voters are losing confidence in the Republican Party’s ability to not only be consistent but, in fact, serious. Romney represents a generally scattered and spastic party — he’s the perfect candidate to underscore what’s wrong with the GOP. If the GOP loses the house and gains nothing in the Senate, everyone will blame Romney, but it’s really all about the Republicans in general.
If President Obama, Vice-President Biden, Mitt Romney, and Paul Ryan were food, what food would each one be and why do you think so?
Bob: The president would be something from “Chopped” — a mix of random ingredients forming a kick ass dish that’s both clever and smart, with a hint of food poisoning danger in there because, well, you know, drones. Joe Biden is a Denny’s Grand Slam with a Dr. Pepper. Literally. Mitt Romney is whatever the hell he needs to be from second to second. One minute he’s a hot pepper, the next minute he’s a replicated food pellet from the Borg hive. There’s no way of knowing.
Ben: Hmmm. Bizarre question, but an interesting one! Here’s my take: Obama would be some sort of eclectic fusion dish you’d find in a hip restaurant (think spicy chicken, Asian glass noodles and a basil dressing) reflecting his multi cutural roots, Biden would be spaghetti carbonara – boring but predictably decent tasting, Romney a stale loaf of bread (no need to elaborate here), and Ryan an appetizing looking steak from somewhere near Fukushima….
Chez: Obama would be a cucumber, because he’s cool and, as Mrs. Marion Wormer said so eloquently in “Animal House,” it’s very sensual. Biden’s a vegetable but for different reasons. Romney would be a waffle, obviously. Or maybe a McRib sandwich since I guarantee you that fucker only comes once a year and when he does it’s a big deal and he never shuts up about it. Ryan would be a giant cock. You say that’s not food? You’ve obviously never seen a Sasha Grey video. On the other hand, Romney and Ryan together can both be crackers.
Let’s just a say friend’s wife made him watch an entire episode of Honey Boo Boo against his wishes. What should the consequences be? Divorce? Free weekend pass? On-demand BJ’s?
Chez: Two words: Drew Peterson.
Bob: Hey, suck it up. There’s no harm in witnessing how fucked up the middle west of America is. Pretend you’re Jane Goodall or something. Take notes. Study it. Unless we’re aware of these problems and, thus, know how to squelch them, they’ll grow like viruses — really fat, stupid viruses.
Ben: I’ve only seen clips of Honey Boo Boo, but judging from the 60 seconds or so that I’ve seen, I’d say it was immediate grounds for divorce. An ex used to make me watch ‘Project Runway’ that often left me on the verge of suicide, and stupidly I didn’t negotiate compensation. Honey Boo Boo is on a completely different level however, and I can’t think of any compensation that would make up for the torturous hour.
Got a question for the mailbag? Email us at [email protected]!!!
More on the Banter:
January 29th, 2015
January 28th, 2015
Requiem for a Nightmare: With a Growing Measles Outbreak, Is the Anti-Vaxxer Movement Finally Finished?
January 28th, 2015
January 28th, 2015