Politico: Candidates Start Laying Groundwork For 2042 Election

A VandeHarris Joint

The Democratic Convention in Charlotte isn’t even over yet, but some candidates are already working the playground in advance of the 2042 presidential election.

Democratic insiders say Timmy Godwin has already put out feelers to key donors and is quietly assembling his campaign team. “Timmy invited me to his tree fort,” a reliable source tells us, “and made me pinkie swear that I wouldn’t tell anyone about his campaign plans.”

Godwin is known in the Democratic party for his broad appeal to base voters. “Timmy always shares his juice box. He handed out gummy worms to the entire playground one time. That will be key,” another source close to Godwin told us.

The most likely rival for the Godwin camp is Jordan Belmont. Belmont has a reputation in kindergarten as a bit of a wonk. “Jordan went against his own party and said ‘not it’ when we were playing tag. It was kind of a game changer,” says Democratic strategist Suzy Kemp, age 6.

In the Republican camp, there is less of a consesus around the likely nominees. While Chuck Romney Bush IV has high name recognition, his role in last year’s Bunnygate could come back to haunt him.

Dave Monk has the power to get the base vote, according to some insiders, recounting a recent episode where Monk gave a detailed presentation on why “recess is socialist.”

Others cite Stewart Rennard’s innovative strategy to “build the dang fence” around the playroom which has been key to keeping out the boogeyman, though Democrats in the kindergarten class say they have “concerns” about the civil liberties implications.

 

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  • Plunket

    M2 doin’ the Jennifer Granholm/Howard Dean Scream on the boards tonight.

    D is for Drive, R is for Reverse………. Yawrrrrr!!!!!

    • M2

      Yup, it’s called excitement. Sorry your ticket inspires none whatsoever. I really am. Sad.

  • M2

    Thank you Mr. President and Mr. Vice President.

    Amazing night.

  • Plunket

    “But, but, but….Bill Clinton was totes awesome, wasn’t he!?!”

    ‘C’mon…..say it after me…..ZEE-RO.’

    • oi ly

      ‘C’mon…..say it after me…..ZEE-RO.’

      Didn’t go so well last time you posted that.

      • Wilbur

        Dennis’ posts are a lot easier to understand if you take em as a kind of performance art.

        • oi ly

          Kinda like Eastwood’s empty chair piece?

      • M2

        So desperate, it’s gone from funny to really sad.

    • M2

      HAAAAA!!!!

      Awesome. Dennis, you are awesome.

    • M2
  • Plunket

    Thus the header “No sign of convention bounce”, db.

    As opposed to, say, “Polls confirm no convention bounce”.

  • Plunket

    : Reuters/Ipsos poll: No sign of convention bounce for Obama

    Or as Wilbur would say, a dead cat bounce.

    • db

      Phlunk,

      Not bad, not only do you cite a solitary poll, but you assert there is no Convention bounce, even though the convention isn’t over yet.

    • Wilbur

      Yep, Dennis is like that guy stranded in the desert who just took the last drop of water from his canteen. “maybe that spot on the horizon is the oasis!”

    • M2

      BWAHHHAA!!!!

      Was that poll taken while the President of the United States was still speaking?

  • Plunket

    47,000 Obama fans had their tickets to the speech nullified tonight due to the weather when it was moved indoors, yet you can’t find one interview of someone expressing their disappointment at missing a speech from the President of the United States.

    Really strange.

    • M2

      Really, you find that strange?

      Well, of course you do. Your candidate is Mitt Romney. Ours is the President of the United States of America who just knocked it out of the park.

      We’re thrilled tonight. You’re… simply not.

      Amazing speech. Amazing.

  • M2

    Look forward to reading Republican screams tomorrow regarding the President’s speech.

    Gonna be great.

    • db

      But M2,

      We could write them now.

      “Obama failed to show why his failed policies will do any better…”
      “Phoney War of Women…”
      “Same old slogans…”
      “Refused responsibility for…”
      “Won’t cut Government Waste…”

      From the other thread, if you tell me it’s a real story & not some over-blown hyperbole, then I’ll believe you- not Glenn Beck.

      • enlightened liberal

        You forgot “teleprompter”…. Must suck to have the most memorable moment of their party’s convention being an invalid arguing (and losing) to an empty chair.

  • Zython

    Minor quibble. 2042 would be a midterm election, not a presidential one.

  • enlightened liberal

    Pretty telling too that Bill Clinton spoke at the DNC- Republicans are too ashamed to have any of their ex-Presidents speak.

    • enlightened liberal

      Or even mention their names, for that matter.

    • oi ly

      They were busy haying or they would have been there. Honest.

  • enlightened liberal

    Hey, according to a good portion of the RNC base, Obama’s candidacy was conceived before he was born, with DNC operatives planting a birth announcement in the Honolulu paper (instead of Kenya).

    This is why the Republic party will never win a national election again.

  • db

    Farris,

    “The DNC is such a disaster…”

    Who’s having fevered dreams?

    • enlightened liberal

      Rush told him it was a disaster, so he has to run with it.

      • SaveFarris

        you sound tired

        • enlightened liberal

          can’t you come up with something original? I mean, Rush has been off the air 2 1/2 hours but seriously, that’s all you’ve got?

  • SaveFarris

    The DNC is such a disaster that Oliver’s having fever dreams again.

    • http://www.thedailybanter.com/author/oliver-willis/ Oliver Willis

      “disaster” = a hell of a success, especially compared to #mehmentum

      • M2

        I actually just of the phone with a close family member who is a Republican and lives in Charlotte and he says it’s really been fantastic with little inconvenience.

        Is he voting D this year? Don’t know and thinking no. But he said the city and all parties involved are doing an awesome job.

        DISASTER!!!