The Daily Banter Mail Bag! Chez too Drunk to Answer Questions, Chris Rock’s Tweet, Scientology and More!!
FILED TO: Politics
Welcome to this week’s edition of The Daily Banter mailbag!! Today, Bob, Ben and a rather drunk Chez discuss the difference between Obama and Romney on foreign policy, Chris Rock’s controversial July 4th tweet and Tom Cruise’s sexuality!
Hey guys, how do you think Romney’s foreign policy would differ to Obama’s? I can’t figure out what the hell he stands for other than being on the same page as Obama on Afghanistan/Iraq/Pakistan and hating China. I’m not a fan of Obama’s foreign policy. The drone attacks are illegal and outrageous, he’s still in Afghanistan (and Iraq) and he’s done nothing on Israel/Palestine whatsoever. It’s hard to see how Romney could be worse really.
Bob: You know, a Republican president wouldn’t use drones. He’d toss half-a-million American soldiers into the fray instead. Given the choice between drones and coffins at Dover, I’ll take the drones. Of course, in a perfect world, neither would be great, but we don’t live in a perfect world. Anyway, I assure you, if Mitt Romney is elected in November, we’ll be at war with Iran by the following September, 2013. Romney, as with all Republicans, will exploit warfare and military strength as a means of pandering to the base and winning re-election. It’s what Bush 43 did, and we ended up with eight years of one of the worst presidents ever — all because he was savvy enough to understand how Americans vote in wartime. Also, I wouldn’t count out North Korea for an agenda item on the President Romney Resolute Desk.
Ben: American foreign policy is inherently screwed up and immoral – it’s an institutional function more than anything else, and it doesn’t really matter who’s in power. Democrats and Republicans are beholden to the military industrial complex, the energy industry, and the military chiefs, Wall St etc etc. They basically do as their told and have little room to maneuver. The difference between Obama and Romney is that Romney believes it’s all great, whereas Obama understands the system and how it must be played if you want better outcomes. I don’t think Obama wants to be hanging around the Middle East any longer than he has to, and his foreign policy is planned with the long term objective of getting out. Romney would cater his entire policy based on the interests of the oil, military industrial complex, and Israel, and that could lead to a war with Iran pretty damn quick and escalations elsewhere that could be devastating. The differences on paper between the two candidates aren’t that great, but the outcomes could be pretty drastic.
Chez: I don’t care because I’m drunk in Desert Hot Springs for the holiday, which means that politics are the furthest thing from my mind. Sorry, what was the question again?
What did you think of Chris Rock’s tweet on the 4th? (IF you didn’t see it, he wrote “Happy white peoples independence day the slaves weren’t free but I’m sure they enjoyed fireworks”). I think he’s a complete dick.
Chez: Chris Rock rules. And he’s right.
Bob: I don’t think he’s a dick. I think he’s a comedian who understands that the fatal flaw of the Declaration signers, not to mention the framers of the Constitution 11 years later, was their inability to free the slaves. 620,000 dead Americans between 1861 and 1865 were aware of this flaw, not to mention the millions of blacks who lived under an apartheid America for another century or more. Chris Rock was being honest and satirical. And truth be told, blacks didn’t truly achieve equal status to whites until President Johnson signed the Civil Right Act of 1964. We live in a wonderful nation, but to suggest that Independence Day included blacks and women is a joke.
Ben:I’m staying the hell out of this one. I’m British so not exactly popular on July 4th anyway. I do like Chris Rock though. He’s damn funny.
Alright guys, non politics question: You think Tom Cruise gay? That scientology bullshit is a gigantic smoke screen for something. Either he likes dudes or he’s working for the CIA. And that David Miscavige character, he’s a psycho. Oh man, they’re gonna come after me now….
Ben: Is Tom Cruise gay? Well, from my time in Los Angeles, I’ve heard from a couple of very reputable sources that he is, but who knows? I wouldn’t want to speculate. What we do know is that he’s a Scientologist, and that is very, very weird. I saw an interview with David Miscavige and was immediately put off. He came off as an intense megalomaniac – not someone you’d want round for afternoon tea. I used to drive past their mega church in Hollywood with visiting friends and pull over so they could take a look, and on more than one occasion we were followed by plain clothed security guards. Very creepy. I actually quite like Cruise as an actor, but I think he’s ruined his image with the Scientology stuff. The CIA theory is interesting. Very interesting….
Bob: I have no idea if he’s gay and I don’t spend a lot of mental energy on that one. But as near as I can tell, he’s an overrated narcissist who resides somewhere in the blurry area between gay, straight and stupid (seriously, Scientology is more ridiculous than any religion ever).
Chez: No, Tom Cruise isn’t gay. He’s just naive and unbelievably dumb which is why a despicable cult like Scientology has gotten its hooks into him and has turned him into the batshit crazy true believer he is today. Wait, I’m still on vacation and quite drunk so I have no idea why I’m thinking about Tom Cruise when I should be enjoying my La Fin Du Monde and the fire pit I’m sitting in front of. Also, see the trailer for that new Cruise vehicle ‘Jack Reacher.’ That movie’s gonna suck.
Got a question for the mailbag? Email us at [email protected] and we’ll answer the best ones next week!
Issue 14 of the Banter Magazine is now out! Right now, you can try a membership for only 99 cents!