7 Reasons Nobody Likes Mitt Romney

speaking at CPAC in Washington D.C. on Februar...

Romney Talks, and No One Listens

By Ben Cohen: Poor Mitt Romney. The soon to be elected Republican Presidential candidate is outspending his closest rival Rick Santorum by incredible sums (in the Chicago media market, an astonishing ratio of 20:1), yet his victory margins are dismal in comparison. No matter how much money Romney spends on winning primaries, he just cannot connect with voters. This is a major problem coming up against one of the most charismatic Presidents in history, and Romney needs to find some sort of workable personality pretty fast.

The best way to change is to understand what is causing the problem. So as a favor to Mitt Romney, I have compiled a list of reasons nobody likes him and some possible solutions:

1. He is a Mormon. Americans are generally suspicious of them and clearly have a hard time envisioning one in the White House. This may seem unfair as Mormonism isn’t any crazier than evangelical Christianity, but they are a minority, and religious minorities in America don’t go far in Presidential politics. The Evangelical wing of the Republican Party does not trust him, and they are having a hard time getting behind him.

Solution: Renounce Mormonism and become and Evangelical Christian. This won’t happen obviously, but it might work politically.

2. He created a functioning health care system as governor of Massachusetts using an almost identical version of ‘Obamacare’. Republicans hate this because not only does it mean poor people get covered, but it means he won’t stand a chance of making it a pivotal issue in the general election.

Solution: None. He should just not talk about it.

3. He was pro choice before he was pro life. Again, this is a major no-no when it comes to rallying the base. The Evangelicals simply don’t believe that Romney thinks women should not be able to control their reproductive systems. Romney has never stuck his neck out politically to oppose abortion, and no one believes he will if he becomes President.

Solution: Again, not much can be done here. Romney has to avoid this topic as much as possible.

4. The never ending flip flops. There’s a great website mittromneyflipflops.com/ that lists some of his most egregious reversals. Here’s a good one:

‘I saw my father march with Martin Luther King.’

‘I did not see it with my own eyes.’

Solution: Stop doing it. Romney could give being honest a try and see how it works. It’s not like his strategy of lying is getting him anywhere.

 

5. He has absolutely no charisma or charm. Just watch this:

Solution: Stop trying to charm people. Just play the ‘I’m a business guy’ card and hope that works.

6. He keeps reminding people how rich he is during one of the most unstable economic times in recent history.

Solution: Again, this is a very simple one. Stop doing it.

7. No one knows what he stands for. Romney has taken every position on every topic, and will say pretty much anything to get elected. As a result, people believe he is a fake – and that’s because he is. When Romney talks, you get the feeling even he doesn’t believe what he is saying. Conversely, when you hear politicians like Rick Santorum, Ron Paul or Barack Obama speak, you genuinely feel they believe what they are saying. This is a major problem for Romney, and a lethal one in the general election.

Solution: Romney needs to try his best to say what he feels. He may be so power hungry and narcissistic that he doesn’t actually know what he feels about anything, but if he wants to stand a chance against Obama, he seriously needs to get in touch with his inner self. I would suggest yoga retreat/therapy sessions/flotation tanks/recreational drugs etc. It’s worth a shot.