Abortion Debate Continued

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Ben Cohen
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By Ben Cohen

A reader writes in response to my article on abortion. My reply below:

So, Ben's conflicted, not sure really how he feels about abortion


cuz, jeez, it's murder,but a woman might get raped, so she needs the


option.

Here's the thing, Ben. It's none of your business.

Just that. None of

your

business if, or how, a woman decides whether to have an abortion, unless you are the father. None. Of. Your. Business.

Sorry if I've pissed you off, Ben. But, I've got a question for


ya. Do you take Viagra? Know any man who does? I think it's terrible


for a man to take an artificial stimulant just so he can get an


erection. Erections are God-given and should remain that way. I think


Viagra and all those other medications (especially the ones on those


annoying early-morning commercials) should be banned.

What, you say? It's none of my business if a man takes Viagra?


Well, I guess it is. He might get some woman pregnant. And then she


might choose an abortion. And you seem to think that abortion is pretty


much everyone's business, right? We should all weigh in with our moral


views, etc., etc.

Many years ago, I worked in a healthcare setting where late-term


abortions were performed, about four a year. Administrators were


terrified that the information would leak out. In every case, those


abortions were performed because the fetus was in terrible shape,


sometimes due to a genetic defect, sometimes just because Nature can


make terrible mistakes. These problems were difficult to spot until


late in a pregnancy.

Those children were very much wanted. But they were doomed to die


in utero, or to live a very short and painful existence before


suffering a cruel death. Yes, it happens, and more often than most


people know. Those parents faced gut-wrenching decisions no matter


which option they chose. My heart broke for them.

Dr. Tiller was one of three -- yes, three --physicians in the


entire United States who would perform those late-term abortions. So


his murder means there are only two doctors left who would help these


families -- unless they decide to end that part of their practices, to


avoid the same fate as Tiller.

I wouldn't dream of interfering with anyone's decision on whether


to have children. It's not my business. And I wouldn't dream of


interfering with anyone's decision to end a pregnancy. That's between a


woman (and her partner, if she has one) and her doctor. Anyone who


isn't in the examining room doesn't get to have a say.

You're young, Ben. You haven't lived in a country where abortion


was illegal and unsafe. You don't know how desperate women used


coathangers on themselves to abort a fetus, or swallowed rat poison, or


sought out back-alley hacks who butchered them. The fact that they did


this shows how desperate they were. Some died, some got arrested, some


were so damaged that they could never get pregnant again.

Idon't everwant to go back to that world. And so, when it comes


to abortion, I keep my nose out of it. I think everyone should.

I largely agree with the reader, although the analogy between abortion and viagra isn't particularly helpful and her tone doesn't do anything to elevate the debate . I don't believe abortion is anyone's business but a woman's and her doctor's, and I understand how important it is to have regulated, safe places for women to have them. Nevertheless, it's a topic that affects many people, and arouses great passion. Vilifying those opposed to abortion does not help the debate it any way. I have spent a lot of time with fundamentalist Christians, and shouting at them simply won't help. It just deepens the divide and reduces debate to name calling. Most people are willing to at least discuss the topic civilly, and I think that is the best course to at least partially reconciling two very different world views. I happen to find both sides of the argument compelling as I can logically understand the need to have the option, but emotionally recoil at the thought of it. It's not a topic I relish discussing, but don't see why I should apologize for my views. And neither should anyone else.