Bush Will Give Blair Medal of Freedom

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Ben Cohen
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By Ben Cohen

Destroying two Arab nations in illegal wars has apparently earned former Prime Minister Tony Blair the American Medal of Freedom. During Bush's last week in office, Blair will receive the medal alongside deposed Australian Prime Minister John Howard, and leading human rights violator Alvare Uribe, the President of Columbia. According to Bush press secretary Dana Perino, the swash buckling trio are being awarded the medal "for their efforts to promote democracy, human rights and peace abroad".

Openly defying the overwhelming opposition to the Iraq War in their respective countries, Blair, Howard and Uribe followed Bush into one of the most strategically disastrous wars in history, helping to massively destabilize the region, increase the threat of terrorism and wreck the global economy. They sided with Bush betting that the ends would justify the means, hoping obedience would curry favor with the master and give them a seat at the round table. The gamble gave them favor with Bush, but damaged their legacies irretrievably.

Receiving the award from the now universally acclaimed worst President in U.S history is perhaps fitting for the three men. Not only will it be a side show in the ticking minutes the world awaits serious leadership, but a freak show displaying the tragedy of political opportunism gone terribly, terribly wrong.