Who Owns Your Soul, MySpace or Facebook?

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Ben Cohen
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Ok so most of us probably agree that MySpace came along and changed the universe forever; whether for better or worse is in the eye of the beholder, but it's for damn sure that it changed things. It opened a global community like never before and gave everyone in the world a chance to annoy their favourite bands and singers and to basically have their own website without any knowledge of IT. All was well and good in the happy land of cyberspace, until that fateful day when one of your mates suddenly said "Oh yeah have you seen that Facebook thing? It's quite cool actually".

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From that point on, we were all doomed.

How did we get from the simple existence of ringing eachother at our respective houses, and perhaps even the lucky few who could be contacted on that rare technological stroke of genius, the mobile phone - cell phone for all you chaps across the pond - to being in such a technical scatterfuck (that's my new word and I'll thank you not to steal it) that we no longer know how to contact our nearest and dearest?!?!!?

"I wonder if Geoff fancies coming out for a pint. I'll just send him a text."
"No mate Geoff never answers his texts, you have to ring him."
"He's not picking up. I'll just e-mail him."
"Mate he hasn't checked his e-mails in weeks. You'll have to Facebook him."
"Facebook, I thought he was on MySpace?!"

FUCK YOU GEOFF!!! You and your silly methods of trying to remain elusive. Just pick up your fucking phone like a normal human being!!!

In a perfect world, Geoff would have lost two friends that evening. But unfortunately Geoff is simply the norm in these crazy times in which we live. You see, we're all Geoff now. We're all Geoff.