Open Letter To Beyonce Knowles, Because I Have No Doubt That Beyonce Reads My Blog Between Concert Dates

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Dear Beyonce,

I am aware that Jay-Z has lint that's worth more than everything I own, and I understand that he has mansions and designer clothes while I have an apartment and the only thing designer I've got is a three-year-old FUBU shirt and Tommy Hilfiger jeans I bought because it had really big pockets. BUT, if you decided to come over to my place to lounge I have furniture you can sit on and if you chose to lay on the floor - for ANY reason - I have carpet and not hard metal that would leave indentations in your skin.

Think About It,
Oliver

P.S. He smokes and I don't. Think of the (future) kids!
P.P.S. I am also a member of the New World Order. That must be at least as good as a Grammy or maybe an MTV Video Music Award?

Beyoncemetalfloor