The Daily Banter’s Campaign to UnF*ck the Internet!

By September 15, 2014

With the explosion of sites like Buzzfeed, Upworthy, and all the other viral content mills flooding the internet with side-boob photos, annoying clickbait headlines, and listicles about cats that look like Miley Cyrus (and no, that is not a joke), we felt it was finally time to do something about it.

  • Today, The Daily Banter is very proud to announce our massively ambitious campaign to UnF*ck the Internet.
  • We need our readers to get behind us and help fund our next stage of growth.

Rush Limbaugh: Saying “No” to Sex “Means ‘Yes’ If You Know How to Spot It”

limbaugh_thad

This has to rank among the top two or three most vile things he’s said.

Fox News Reporter Already Suggests That Obama’s Anti-ISIS Coalition Is a “Failure”

foxEd

That didn’t take very long.

Sorry, but the Police Did Nothing Wrong by Detaining Danièle Watts

Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 2.20.26 PM

Not every incident deserves to be a flashpoint for our finely honed outrage. And this one absolutely doesn’t.

Urban Outfitters Apologizes For You Perceiving Its Blood-Stained Kent State Sweatshirt Negatively

Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 4.17.35 PM

Urban Outfitters was selling a $129 “vintage” Kent State crew sweatshirt that just so happened to have fake blood splatters across it and holes the size of bullets, and they’re not sure why everyone is so upset.

Attention Politicians: Guns Shouldn’t Be Props For Your Campaign Ads

Sullivan

Using firearms for campaign ads is one of the worst forms of political pandering ever conceived.

Senator Tom Harkin Says Hillary Clinton’s ‘Fingerprints Are All Over’ Obamacare

hillaryharkin

It is undeniably true that Hillary Clinton has spent decades working toward universal health care, and people often forget that in 2008, then-Senator Barack Obama ran against the individual mandate while Hillary supported it.

The 3 Most Politically Accomplished Former Miss America Winners

Screen Shot 2014-09-15 at 12.43.41 PM

Poise counts!

ISIS Is Not Islamic, They Are ISASSHOLES

potusisis

On the merits, though, Islam-haters like Bill Maher have a point, there are some violent passages in the Koran, which ignorant liberal multi-culturalists will inevitably counter by pointing out that the Holy Bible ain’t exactly beanbag.

Fox News and CNN Have On Whacky Sheriff To Fear-monger About ISIS In Mexico

FF

Cable news is going to have this guy on to make up stuff about ISIS in Mexico because why not?

MEMBERS ONLY: The Ugly Side of Football and How Fans Continue to Let The NFL Get Away With It

ray_rice

America’s Sport is polluted with lies, cheating and crime — and more than its share of assholes. Yet it’s been, up to this point, immune from serious damage.

BREAKING: ISIS Releases YouTube Video Showing Execution of Missing Briton David Haines

David Haines

In what has become an event of sickening regularity, ISIS has released a graphic video featuring the beheading of another Western hostage, this time David Cawthorne Haines, a 44 year-old British aid worker.

NFL Fans Defending Beating A Child’s Scrotum Are Scum

adrian-peterson-mugshot

The NFL’s Adrian Peterson beat his child until he bled. The NFL’s Adrian Peterson beat a child on his scrotum. The NFL’s Adrian Peterson didn’t think this was a big deal but hid it from doctors anyways. If you are an NFL fan defending this behavior in any way possible, you are a scumbag. I… Read More

A Child Abuse Investigator’s Perspective on the Ray Rice Case

RayRice

The trauma of seeing a parent abused often takes years to overcome, and people who have experienced this often need professional counseling to work through it. Witnessing domestic violence also breeds more domestic violence.

19 Possible New Names For ‘ISIL’ That We Need To Decide On Right Now

ObamaISIL

Let’s decide on this fast.

The Daily Banter Mail Bag: Obama’s ISIS Plan, Ray Rice and the Music We Hate the Most

ISIS

In this week’s edition of The Daily Banter Mail Bag, Bob, Ben and Chez discuss Obama’s strategy for ISIS, Ray Rice and the NFL and the one genre of music we’d ban forever.

Fake Pharma Ad Condenses Polluted Air We Breathe Into “Pill” With Hilarious Side Effects

Screen Shot 2014-09-12 at 12.30.06 PM

The Daily Banter doesn’t usually hawk corporate goods, especially ones from Big Pharma, but Petrolify seems amazing.

Obama Is Wrong and Bill Maher and Sam Harris Are Right About Islam and ISIL

MaherHarris

Many liberals stubbornly refuse to acknowledge the Islamic origins of ISIL’s motives. And that’s dangerous.

White House Says U.S. Combat Troops In Syria Aren’t Off The Table

jearnest

Well this is interesting.