MEMBERS ONLY: The Death and Rebirth of a Cartoon About Pot and SpongeBob

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Life is kind of like that. Even with the best of intentions, we’re almost never in control of our own fate, and a snap decision by a complete stranger could change our path forever.

Jesus Was Pro Transgender and Almost Certainly Pro Gay

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While not popular with fundamentalists, Jesus did have some views on being transgendered, and mostly likely homosexuality. Read it and weep, gay haters.

MEMBERS ONLY: President Obama Walks Into a Press Briefing Room….

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Banter White House correspondent Tommy Christopher gives you an exclusive look at what it’s like to have the leader of the free world visit your workplace.

Scott Walker Will Attend Your Big Gay Wedding Reception, But Not the Wedding Itself

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The Wisconsin governor has officially given the most awful answer to the question of whether he’d attend a gay wedding.

Bill O’Reilly and Pastor Jeffress Agree that Gay Marriage Will Lead to Polygamy and Kids Getting Married

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You might remember Jeffress from the time he said 9/11 was God’s punishment against America for abortion.

Here’s Your Very First (Leaked) Teaser Trailer for Star Wars: Rogue One

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It’s like Christmas for Star Wars fans right now.

Quote of the Day: Here’s Why Jon Stewart’s Leaving The Daily Show (Hint: It’s What We Thought)

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Also, will he ever watch Fox News again once he’s gone?

Sorry, Adam Carolla, the IRS Will Never Be Abolished — Ever

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It’s sort of like a kid running for high school president by promising to eliminate homework.

MEMBERS ONLY: Rand Paul Gives the Koch Brothers a Big Wet Kiss in TIME Because He Wants Their Money

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Paul isn’t even pretending this isn’t about money.

Britt McHenry Would’ve Gotten Off Easier Had She Choked Someone To Death On Video

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Justice was swift for Britt McHenry, the ESPN sideline reporter who cursed out a parking lot clerk in a viral video that’s breaking the internet, but she literally would have been better off had she choked someone to death.

Because Jesus Would Definitely Call For Stoning Homosexuals

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Apparently, when Jesus stated that “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself,” he actually meant that you should stone people to death if you don’t agree with their lifestyle.

Obama Beats the GOP Like a Rented Mule Over Lynch Delay

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Even though he appears to have already won, President Obama used Friday’s joint presser to show Senate Republicans the heel of his boot a few more times.

President Obama Says Immediate Sanctions Relief For Iran Is On The Table

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At a joint press conference Thursday, a little-noticed bit of news was made as President Obama made it pretty clear that at least some immediate sanctions relief for Iran is on the table in the ongoing negotiations for a final nuclear deal.

MEMBERS ONLY: Dispatches From the Controlled Chaos Of Nigeria

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How Nigeria works. Or, how it doesn’t.

Chris Christie’s Marijuana Crackdown Pledge Shows Just How Out of Touch He Really is

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The reality is that the majority of Americans favor pot legalization, a trend that has been growing steadily for the past 45 years. Christie’s inability to tune into this growing awareness of reality shows you just how out of sync he is with today’s cultural zeitgeist.

New NRA President Is Completely Nuts

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It’s important to underscore how truly difficult it is to say anything about guns and gun control that are more insane than CEO and president Wayne LaPierre whose previous job was scamming Martini, Harding and Taber at Black Jack just before medication time.

Mocking Madonna’s Big Drake Make-Out Isn’t Misogynist or Ageist, It’s “Over Madonna”-ist

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The reason for the laughter and the big eye-rolls wasn’t her age necessarily. It’s more her shtick that’s gotten old.

A Child Abuse Investigator’s Perspective: Mary Kay Letourneau Fualaau is a Female Predator

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On April 10th, ABC’s 20/20 featured a new Barbara Walters interview. The subjects were Mary Kay Letourneau Fualaau and her husband and victim Vili Fualaau. The hook for the interview was that that Fualaau’s are soon celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary. To call this entire thing creepy is an injustice to creepiness.